Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Lost That Loving Feeling?

I'm back Ladies,

I know, I know. I haven't been keeping my promise to blog during the semester. But in my defense, I have 2 jobs, am a nursing student, a mom with 2 kids, a wife and a housekeeper. When do I have time to collect my thoughts and actually write them out? Well, I'm taking the time now because I need some advice.

For those of you who don't know, Duane & I have been together for 17 years. It hasn't been easy but we're still here. We are coming up on our 7 year anniversary and I'm beginning to feel like he doesn't desire me anymore. Perhaps it's just my insecurities about my weight (yes, the drama continues) but it seems like he doesn't wanna spend time with me. It seems like he'd rather work (at a job he hates and is about to leave) than come home to me who's waiting for him. He said it's not true and he does still want me. I tried to explain to him, that's it not about sex, it's about intimacy. I love when I come home and he has flowers on the table or in my car waiting for me but I'd much rather have HIM at home waiting for me with a bottle of red and a movie. Is it that men don't know the difference between sex and intimacy? Or am I being totally self centered.

All I want is a little intimacy. Spend a little time with my man. Like we used to before the kids, the 2 jobs we both have, the house, school, etc. Is that unrealistic? Is it just inevitable that the love is lost after a while? I fail to believe that because I am still attracted to my husband!! I still want him. I'd also take Orlando Bloom, TI, Boris Kudjo and David Beckam but hey until they show up, I love my hubby.

So, I suppose I'll change my look and see if I get some attention that way. I'll do my best to look my best for him. Not that I don't now but obviously what I'm doing isn't working. Any other bright ideas?

2 comments:

Tracy said...

For starters, I don't know how you do so much. You're superwoman!

When it comes down to it, you're not just Duane and Nicole anymore. You've got adult responsibilities, including two beautiful children. Maybe it's possible he spends a lot of time away because when he gets home, he's not just facing you but everything else.

I've started reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", and one of the big things about men is that they like to hide in their cave. Herb does it too - he loses himself in front of the TV or in the bathroom (and believe me, that can take a whole hour). It's frustrating after facing Ethan all day - I'd like some adult conversation and companionship. For Duane, one of his caves might be at work where he can escape from the rest.

Herb and I have been together for 12 years and married four of them, and there have been instance where we've fell out of love, but remember, the magic of marriage is falling in love with the same person over and over again. Whether you change your appearance (you're beautiful as you are, by the way) or change your outlook, it'll come back. He'll come around.

(stepping off soap box now)

Nikki said...

Thanks Tracy. I'll keep it [the soapbox] in the corner. I'm sure you'll need it in the future.