Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Scrubs are Getting Loose!

Well, I had my weigh in as promised and it reveled that...I need a new scale. Yeah it's broke but I know a lost a few pounds. My scrubs (drawstring at that) have been falling off my behind lately. I've never had this problem in the past, so I'm taking it as a sign of weight loss. Perhaps just and inch, but I'll take it.

I will definitely keep you posted. Peace

Thursday, January 8, 2009


New Year's Eve, my aunt had a party at her home. All were invited: young and old, families and singles. It was really a great time. Duane had to work but I went and took the kids. I figured DJ could sleep upstairs in his 'pack-n-play' (Thanks Graco) and Nyani could play with the other little kids until she crashed. Well, once we arrived, Nyani stuck to my leg like plastic on a summer day. She knew everyone there but was being very anti-social. I tried to encourage her to go with the other kids but she wouldn't budge. Even her cousins tried to get her to come and play but to no avail. Finally, I had to force her to stop following me so I could put DJ to sleep before midnight. She left for a minute...or so I thought. As I sat on the couch to rock my baby to sleep I heard her behind me saying, "You always love DJ" in the saddest voice I've ever heard. My heart dropped and tears came to my eyes. I looked at my sister who heard it as well. She looked at me like, "You need to handle that". So I took her to the side and told her that yes, I do love DJ but that I also love her. I explained that DJ is a baby and not a big kid like her so sometimes it may seem like he gets a lot of attention because he needs a lot of help. I also reminded her that she's my little sweet pea and I will always love her. I also reminded her that if she feels like she wants to spend time with mommy, to just tell me. (She's gotten pretty good with this. It usually results in a girls day with a movie, lunch and manicures. She loves it! We always have a ball.) I gave her a kiss and a hug and she seemed satisfied with that.

I hope she doesn't really feel like I love DJ more than her. I do love my little boy and we do have a special bond but doesn't every mom feel that way about her baby boy? Now I am constantly questioning my actions to ensure each child gets equal treatment. I hope I have not scared her for life or worse doomed her to adult therapy sessions. I can see Nyani now stretched out on a chaise lounge, crying her eyes out to some woman with a bun and glasses, telling her how her mom didn't love her. It also makes me think that DJ will end up as one of those 'mama's boys' you hear about on Jerry Springer or some other ridiculous talk show. Am I smothering him? How will I know before it's too late?

This is one of those times I wish children came with instruction manuals. We all know parenting is hard. I just pray I'm doing ok.

The Weight Issue...Doing Ok

Alright ladies, be proud of me. I have actually been eating sensible meals everyday. I have also been exercising a couple days a week. The weigh in isn't until Friday but I must admit I do feel better...if nothing else. I'm proud of myself. My scrubs have begun to fall from around my waist which is interesting since they are draw string. I'll continue with my routine and keep you posted.

Totally 'Goo' Free!

Well, he did it. DJ is totally 'goo' free. He doesn't even ask for it any more. Thank God!! He sleeps well without it and doesn't have anymore screaming fits. I still think he's too young to be without it but what's done is done. (My poor baby) Next, on the potty. He's telling me when he pees and poops. He even took his diaper off the other day because it was wet. So now, the potty training will begin. God please help me. This should be fun.

As always, I welcome suggestions...please!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

'Goo' Free for Nearly a Week

I must report that DJ is doing much better without his 'goo'. He's sleeping fine at home without it but when he's at his grandparent's house, nap time is difficult. He only asks for it once or twice a day and is satisfied to know that "it's gone because he's a big boy now". The incidents of falling out and screaming have decreased significantly. I think he's going to be okay. I was really worried about him for a minute though. I was about to crack and give it back to him. Although I still think he's too young to be without his 'goo', I think he's going to be fine without it. I'll keep you posted as he recovers.

The Weight Issue...Going Ok So Far

Well, I'm actually doing it. I am eating regular meals and exercising. I'm even alternating the routines so I don't get bored. It's only been a few days but I'm already feeling better. I decided to weigh myself only twice a month. The next weigh in is next Friday. I'll let you know how that goes.

Side note:
After I wrote my last blog, Duane and I actually went out!! And better yet, it wasn't to a movie!! We had drinks at Du Claw in Fells Point. It was a late night outing so we had plenty QT to ourselves. Walking around the harbor after dark was very romantic. I definitely enjoyed our time together. I can't say that he read my blog and felt guilty because if he knows I have a blog, I doubt very seriously he'd read it. So, it must have been divine intervention. Thank you LORD!!! LOL!

Well, I'm going to eat dinner before it gets too late. Then a quick ride on the stationary bike before I'm off to the New Year's Eve party.

Happy New Year Ladies!! Be blessed.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Weight Issue...It's Serious

I've had this continuing blog for years and have only lost a few pounds which I managed to put back on (plus some). But this time, I really mean it. I have to loose weight. Why you might ask is this time different? Is it the holiday pictures of me looking like such the Fat Bastard? Or is it the constant "I feel fat" syndrome? Is it that I can't fit anything in my closet or that I am still wondering who that is staring back at me in the mirror? Surprisingly no.

I'm beginning to think that my dear sweet hubby is bothered by my extra baggage. He hasn't said anything or even insinuated it but a wife knows. I can hear every last one of you saying, "No way!! Duane is not like that." As I said before, it's nothing he said it's just my feeling. The evidence:

Exhibit 1: He never comes right up to bed when he comes home from work. I find him sleeping in front of the television with a bowl of cereal in his hands.

Exhibit 2: He's not romantic anymore.

Exhibit 3: I rearranged my work schedule so I could be off yesterday and he volunteered to work at his 2nd job.

Exhibit 4: We don't cuddle or do anything fun anymore.

I do make time for him through all the madness with work, school and everything else. But I feel like he's just not interested any more. Why? I've done everything. I've changed my hair, made sure I have time for him in my schedule and everything else. The only thing left is my size.

Even though it hurts, perhaps this is the motivation I need to loose this weight. I'll keep you posted.