Why is it Different With Boys?

I love my little man. He is starting to be...umm, let's just call it mischievous but he's 14 mos old, that's his job. Even at 14 mos, we try to teach him the difference between right and wrong. But sometimes I think Duane is a little hard on him. For example, the other day he threw a toy on the floor because he was angry. Ok, he does have my temper, I will admit that. So Duane tapped him on the leg (not hard. I don't want DSS at my door) like we normally do to discipline him and told him to pick it up "b/c you don't throw things when your angry". Well, DJ came running to me thinking I was gonna pat him up. Duane and I believe in team parenting so I reinforced what Daddy said, "No DJ go pick up your toy". Well, he's bullheaded like his Mama and he refused. Duane tapped him again and kept telling him to pick it up. Mean while, I'm facing the other way b/c DJ's crying a river and looking at me like "Help me Mommy". I couldn't stand it after a few minutes. I mean the boy was crying hard and it was obvious he wasn't gonna do it. Besides the kid is 14 mos old! So, I told Duane to just let it go and I picked DJ up and kissed him. Duane was pissed saying that I always pat him up. That isn't true I don't always pat him up but I couldn't let that scene continue, like I said he's only 14 mos old. And besides, Nyani has Duane wrapped tightly around her finger. He won't even hit her. Or if he does it's so soft he might as well not hit her at all. As soon as she bats those eyes, he's putty and she gets whatever she wants. So why is it wrong when my baby boy does the same to me? God knew what he was doing when he created my baby boy. He looks just like his Daddy but when he smiles, he looks like my Daddy. That saves him from many taps on the leg when he's being mischievous. All he has to do is smile and I'm picking him up and kissing those jaws. I know. He's got me wrapped around that fat little pinkie finger but hey, at least I'm woman enough to admit it. He's Mommy's little boy and will forever stay that way. (Yeah I said it. And I mean it too.)

I love my daughter too, don't get me wrong. But I think I'm harder on her than I am on DJ. I can't explain it I just am. And I think Duane is harder on DJ. I don't know. It wasn't like this with my daughter, we...I mean I had no trouble disciplining her but with DJ, it's just different. Why?